thing people said

Things People Said is a RinkWorks production. We invite you to visit our other features.

Slips and Gaffes

• Accident Reports -- Descriptions of accidents as written on insurance claim forms.
• Excuse Letters -- Letters from parents to teachers, excusing their children from school.
• Courtroom Quotations -- Lawyers take ridiculous steps to be thorough.
• Resume Quotations -- Unwise statements made on resumes and cover letters.
• Patient Charts -- Doctors' remarks on patient charts.
• Church Bulletins -- Unfortunately phrased announcements in church bulletins.
• Classified Ads -- Classified ads that don't necessarily say what they were intended to.
• News Reports -- Newspapers, radio, and television garble news reports.
• Restaurants -- Blundered lines, signs, and menus at restaurants.
• Spoonerisms -- Quotes with words with sitched swounds.
• Words Without Thought -- Bungling the English language. 
• The Language Barrier -- When learning English, sometimes being close is still very far away. 
• Fortune Cookies -- Bizarre lines taken from actual fortune cookies. 

Questions, Suggestions, and Complaints

• Forest Service Feedback -- City folk suggest improvements to the outdoors.
• River Guide Feedback -- People without common sense go rafting.
• Tourism Follies -- People without geographic sense.
• Questions Asked of Park Rangers -- Tourists who just don't get it.
• Questions Asked of Librarians -- Readers who just don't get it.
• Questions Asked of Cruise Ship Pursers -- Vacationers who just don't get it.
• Tenant Complaints -- Tenants complain to their landlords but don't proofread.

Things Kids Say

• Kids' Ideas About Love -- 5 to 10 year olds expound on love and marriage.
• Kids' Ideas About Science -- 5th and 6th graders illustrate scientific principles for the layman.
• Kid Quotes -- Young children make hilarious observations.
• Exams and Papers -- 7th through 12th graders give creative wrong answers to exams.

Stupidity

• Warning Labels -- In today's litigious society, products need ridiculously obvious instructions. 
• Employee Performance Evaluation Quotes -- Evaluating the performance of the less proficient employees.
• Bad Predictions -- Famous last words about science and technology.
• Twins -- Some people have comic ideas about what being a twin is all about.
• Anecdotes of Stupidity -- In the general public, you can't hide from stupidity.

Famous People

• Yogi Berra -- Verbal blunders from one of baseball's legends.
• Samuel Goldwyn -- Verbal blunders from the famous movie mogul.
• Eugene Ormandy -- Verbal blunders from the famous orchestra conductor.
• Murray Walker -- Verbal blunders from the famous motor racing commentator.
• Dan Quayle -- Verbal blunders from a notorious former Vice President.
• Other Famous People -- Verbal blunders from an assortment of other celebrities and political figures.

large collection of stories and anecdotes about clueless computer users.